Would you approve of or tolerate drug use (marijuana and even stronger) from someone you are dating or in a relationship with?

Oof. Ok it took me weeks to think about how to answer this. The person that anonymously asked me is hopefully still hanging around to get the answer! lol
So, the million dollar question: would i tolerate drug use?

Let me backtrack and give you a bit of history… i was in a serious relationship with someone for 5yrs. There was ALOT of weed involved. It ended up being the #1 argument we'd always get into. I don't mind marijuana on special occasions, or socially, but when it's in your home and affects your everyday life + your relationship, it becomes a problem. My ex was addicted. I mean it took over EVERYTHING. And when we were living together it consumed our whole relationship. Throw in some lying, his best friend who hated me, cigarettes, depression, and a shared apartment + abuse of my car = it was a recipe for disaster. And it self-destructed just like everyone expected it to.

So, i came out of that with the thought of weed as the devil. And made that my deal-breaker for the past 5+yrs.
Don't get me wrong, I am 29 yrs old, and know many chill guys and girls who smoke every once and a while to ease their mind. Just like sometimes i have a glass of wine at the end of the hard day. But i couldn't help but be petrified when the guy i'm seeing told me he smokes weed and cigarettes... Everyday.

So, now the hard question…will that be the deal-breaker in this relationship… i don't know yet. But i've thought about it a lot, and i've decided to NOT think of weed as the “devil” because you know what, this guy is sooooooo NOT my ex-boyfriend and so far i have yet to see him high (well i think once but it wasn't a big deal). Plus he is pretty freaking amazing. Yes, we don't spend all our time together, and yes i'm not living in denial that i'll never see it. Maybe once that day comes i'll have a gut feeling on if i can tolerate it or not. But until that time, I will give him the benefit of the doubt that it would never come between us… What I would like to know, but am not ready to ask… is…. was IF the weed DID become an issue between us, whether it be now or later, would HE be willing to give it up or cut down in some way? Not necessarily for me, but for himself, because HE'D WANT to be with me… basically… would I be more important that his herbs…
At the moment, I don't think i'd like the answer to that question… and i think that's what scares me the most. I was 2nd to weed for 5 yrs in my prior relationship, and i would not accept second place anymore…

— roxy xo

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