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Live. Love. Learn. Life is short, it's time to do the things you love! My friends are my heart, my family is my rock. I just turned 30 and i'm trying not to panic! I have a fabulous apartment in the city, and some crazy dating stories! Read, interact and enjoy xx

Monday, January 31, 2011

Another one bites the dust

So, i've been wrestling in my head for a week about how to write a blog post without sounding like a girl who just got her heart broken… again.
But at this point, “it is what it is”. That's what happened. Yes… again.

The funny thing is, that this time, i was so cautious going into this relationship, that it almost never got off the ground. I was so guarded. I was so skeptical. And I was so careful with my heart, but the second i gave it away, it got broken anyway… that should surely teach me something, right?!

Mid-week last week i was preparing a “positive post” to distract me from all the sadness i was feeling. I had made plans to distract myself every minute of every day. I didn't need ANY time to think… but God works in mysterious ways and i got the flu. A brutal flu. So, i'm now on day #5 of lying in bed and neurotically thinking about every detail of the last 6 months of my relationship…

The hopeless romantic in me couldn't help but think… that maybe he'd show up at my place with flowers and NeoCitran and declare his love for me. Lol But who are we kidding?! That's not happening, so the daydreams and feverish delusions stop here!

Today, it's been like a slap in the face. Finally, after 5 days of thinking, i realize: he doesn't love me , he can't commit to me… so why hold my breath about reconciliation? God knows i've done that in the past for many others, and where'd it ever get me? Nowhere. Just more disappointed… So this time i've got to be stronger, and just accept that he's just not THAT into me, and move on.

Right now i'm feeling like, what's the point of ever trying this again? But i know, from experience, that life moves on, this won't hurt so much in a few months from now, Spring will come and new hope will arise. And the next guy who melts my icy heart, might actually be ready and love me for who i am.

Ok back to bed now…that was enough effort one day!

5 comments:

  1. Rockin' RedheadJanuary 31, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    We will find you that Rich, Not commitment phobic man! Love you xoxo

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  2. Hi Roxy,

    You are so strong. So many of my girlfriends think that the guy will change, suddenly grow up or suddenly love them enough. They confuse how they feel about the guy and cannot possibly see that since she (they) care so much, how could HE NOT feel the same way...they wait around to be disappointed time and time again and waste precious time!!!You are realizing that this is not for you and moving on! Good for you! Maybe you will realize in the end YOU were NOT THAT into him as you thought! Good luck!

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  3. The man you want (and will ultimately meet and spend the rest of your life with) will treasure who you are, will want to be with you and will always be there to support you. This time didn't turn out to be That Guy, and it sucks, but it'll be OK. If he couldn't be that guy, he was unworthy of being with you. Your time will come chica. :)

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  4. I give u credit for being a strong, confident woman...so many of us hang in there with men who just don't appreciate us or make the time/effort to make a relationship somethimg special. U have yet to find The One...be patient and look forward and onward :)

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  5. Thanks girls... i'm trying to be strong, but it's extra hard when you're sick and still in love... it'll take time, but i'll be ok. Just wish things could have been different for once...
    — roxy xx

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