So, i've been wrestling in my head for a week about how to write a blog post without sounding like a girl who just got her heart broken… again.
But at this point, “it is what it is”. That's what happened. Yes… again.
Mid-week last week i was preparing a “positive post” to distract me from all the sadness i was feeling. I had made plans to distract myself every minute of every day. I didn't need ANY time to think… but God works in mysterious ways and i got the flu. A brutal flu. So, i'm now on day #5 of lying in bed and neurotically thinking about every detail of the last 6 months of my relationship…
The hopeless romantic in me couldn't help but think… that maybe he'd show up at my place with flowers and NeoCitran and declare his love for me. Lol But who are we kidding?! That's not happening, so the daydreams and feverish delusions stop here!
Today, it's been like a slap in the face. Finally, after 5 days of thinking, i realize: he doesn't love me , he can't commit to me… so why hold my breath about reconciliation? God knows i've done that in the past for many others, and where'd it ever get me? Nowhere. Just more disappointed… So this time i've got to be stronger, and just accept that he's just not THAT into me, and move on.
Right now i'm feeling like, what's the point of ever trying this again? But i know, from experience, that life moves on, this won't hurt so much in a few months from now, Spring will come and new hope will arise. And the next guy who melts my icy heart, might actually be ready and love me for who i am.
Ok back to bed now…that was enough effort one day!