Jenna Stone, did her homework and consulted the experts: Dr. Amir Levine, co-author, with Rachel Heller, of the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find -- And Keep --Love. A book, which after reading the article, i'd be pretty interested in reading.
“There is a science of how people behave in romantic situation, it's called adult attachment, only the studies have never been translated to everyday life use up until now.” —LevineThis book talks to three main attachment styles:
- Anxious - people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.
- Avoidant - people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
- Secure - people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
Find out which style you and/or your partner have: click here to take the author's quiz.
Trust me! It might open your eyes about how you treat your relationships. I know it did for me.
So, back to the summary of Jenna Stone's 10 points about possibly why I'm not married :
- Believing that playing hard to get will get them interested
- You're trying too hard.
- Thinking neediness is bad.
- You're stuck in a situationship.
- You're stuck on ''the one'' -- You have an ideal relationship in mind and won't let it go.
- You get addicted to highs and lows. You equate anxiety with passion and love.
- You're fixated on your mythological ex.
- You get stuck in a relationship with an impossible future. Long-distance, married, ''it's complicated.”
- You stay home, hoping they'll drop from the sky.
- You decide there has to be instant animal attraction, otherwise you're wasting your time.