Dear Heart

From ROXY

Dear heart, I know I promised you I'd take it slow
Dear love, I know I swore on everything I own
But I can't resist, how's just one kiss?
But don't look now
You've got me going, I'm going, I'm gone…

[Don't Look Now : Far East Movement  ft.Keri Hilson]

My Mr.Big

Do you ever sit, and watch Sex and the City, and wonder if your ex could be YOUR Mr.Big?
ssshhhh don't tell anyone, but I do...

I'm sitting here watching the show, and realizing that my ex is soooooo much like Mr.Big (in the early years) and it's scary! ...emotionally unavailable, unwilling to commit... it goes on and on. Every episode i'm like “yes!yes!yes!” to Carrie's Big dilemas.



Honestly, it's the story of alot of the men we date; unavailable in all kinds of ways. Thankfully i don't fall in love with all of them, just the rare few...

We all believe in some kind of happily-ever-after... i just wonder if and when it'll happen.
I'm wondering if years down the line, when i'm with someone new (cross fingers!), and hopefully happy, if my “Mr.Big” will realize that I was the one who got away and want me back...

Big screwed Carrie over and over again... (litterally AND figuratively!!) and it finally only worked out between them, 6 seasons and 2 movies later!!! So, could it be? That this fate is possible for us girls too?

OR will we just meet someone and it'll be great from beginning to ...forever... no games for once?!
I guess only time will tell.

What is the most hurtful thing an ex has ever done to you?

Formspring Question: WHAT IS THE MOST HURTFUL OR MOST DISAPPOINTING THING AN EX HAS EVER DONE TO YOU? AND WHAT IS THE MOST SPECIAL OR MEMORABLE THING AN EX HAS EVER DONE TO YOU/FOR YOU? ask your question here

Hmm this is a hard question. Sadly because i can think of SO many things exes have done to hurt me. But i definitely know which one tops the list...

It's THE most hurtful thing anyone can do to someone they love: and that's cheat on them. My ex (not my most recent love, but the one prior) cheated on me after a year of us dating. He cheated on me with his ex. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I can't explain the devastation. Only someone who's lived through it can understand. You need to be really strong to pick up the pieces and move on...

And that's where my most recent ex pops into my mind... hopefully he's not reading this post :S I guess i won't know whether he does or not... basically, he decided after 6 months that he couldn't love me for who i am. For reasons that are hard to explain. But for me, who had finally opened my heart to be vulnerable again, it was devastating and disappointing all over again. I still love him and miss him everyday. But i've come to terms with the fact that if he can't love me back, then i'm moving on. Thankfully i have great friends who are helping me do that.

Now for special and memorable moments.... yes there are lots (thankfully!) -- i will talk about my most recent ex because he is the one on my mind... I went away for a weekend in NYC for a friend's dirty-30 bday celebration. I'd been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months at the time. Midway through the weekend there was a delivery to my hotel room: a card wishing me a great weekend with my friends, truffles and champagne... signed from him. I never expected a gesture like that — it was so thoughtful ...That was the weekend i realized that i was falling in love with him...

Sigh... ok let's focus on the future girls! and all the “firsts” to come! Let's hope at least!! lol

— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

Another one bites the dust

So, i've been wrestling in my head for a week about how to write a blog post without sounding like a girl who just got her heart broken… again.
But at this point, “it is what it is”. That's what happened. Yes… again.

The funny thing is, that this time, i was so cautious going into this relationship, that it almost never got off the ground. I was so guarded. I was so skeptical. And I was so careful with my heart, but the second i gave it away, it got broken anyway… that should surely teach me something, right?!

Mid-week last week i was preparing a “positive post” to distract me from all the sadness i was feeling. I had made plans to distract myself every minute of every day. I didn't need ANY time to think… but God works in mysterious ways and i got the flu. A brutal flu. So, i'm now on day #5 of lying in bed and neurotically thinking about every detail of the last 6 months of my relationship…

The hopeless romantic in me couldn't help but think… that maybe he'd show up at my place with flowers and NeoCitran and declare his love for me. Lol But who are we kidding?! That's not happening, so the daydreams and feverish delusions stop here!

Today, it's been like a slap in the face. Finally, after 5 days of thinking, i realize: he doesn't love me , he can't commit to me… so why hold my breath about reconciliation? God knows i've done that in the past for many others, and where'd it ever get me? Nowhere. Just more disappointed… So this time i've got to be stronger, and just accept that he's just not THAT into me, and move on.

Right now i'm feeling like, what's the point of ever trying this again? But i know, from experience, that life moves on, this won't hurt so much in a few months from now, Spring will come and new hope will arise. And the next guy who melts my icy heart, might actually be ready and love me for who i am.

Ok back to bed now…that was enough effort one day!

Girl on Girl

I was inspired to write this, from my new favorite show: Downtown Girls (MTV) Episode 3 baby! Watch it!

I think all girls in the dating scene get so fed up at times that we think maybe we should be giving a chance to our same sex partners : the girls.

Girl on girl is a very peculiar subject. Most know that i have quite vast knowledge of this subject since i have lived with 4 lesbians (2 couples) in a small apartment in the city, 2 yrs ago. One bathroom, one kitchen, 5 girls. You get to know your roomates very well. I love these girls like sisters (well actually one of them is my sister) and still hangout with most of them regularly.

When Will It All Be Over?

I just discovered a blog today (a nicely designed blog, may i add) and i couldn't believe that the only post i saw was this: “i'm done”

Her name is Addison Woods, and from what i gather, her ex found her blog, and now she's done. I am so curious to know what kind of posts she had been writing to delete everything from this guys view.
If my ex saw my site, or even the guys i've been on dates with, i'd say: READ and LEARN. They would know the truth about how they hurt me and how i feel about life in general. They would also see that i'm fine now: I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you (yes i'm quoting Gloria Gaynor!) hehe

So, my message to Addison Woods, is keep up the good work, let your heart sing, and let it alllll hang out. He'll finally know your truth! (ok if you put posts about cheating on him or something then maybe removing selective posts is a good idea). But, from reading your bio, and your fans comments, you seem like a very interesting person, who should continue to be heard!

Anyhoo chica, you can always write on my blog if you need to vent! I think i'll be sticking around for a while. Any advice for Addison? Write her some comments below!

Yes, Only Love Can Break Your Heart

BEWARE LADIES, VALENTINE'S WEEKEND IS CREEPING UP ON US...
And remember... Neil Young had it right all along...

Buy this Letterpress mini-poster here

My 3 & Their Weddings

So, one of my best friends is planning her wedding for next September, and will probably be preggers the morning after. I'm having a blast helping her with anything she needs :)

Wedding planning is REALLY a fun time with a close friend. I've been through it twice in the past and it's some of the fondest memories i hold dear... Wedding dress shopping, invitation designing, paper cutting!! and gluing !! (table placings, thank you cards, invitations), bridesmaid dress shopping (and arguing!), bridal shower planning, bachelorette craziness!, the hair, the makeup and looking super fabulous together :)



This wedding will pretty much wrap up all the “coupling up” of my closest friends. My other 2 best friends got married almost 3 years ago now, both have wonderful houses, dedicated husbands; one has a 17 month yr old (my cutie godson), and the other is beautifully preggers (due this May). I love these 3 girls to death ♥ K,A&J xo

I consider myself sooo lucky to have these chiquitas in my life, among the handful of other super amazing friends i have. I think you get to a point in your life when you realize how lucky you really are to have people around who love you. Who love you for WHO you are. No makeup, no fronting.

They love you on the worst days; when your mascara's running down your face, when you're so plastered you can't put on your own boots, or when all you want to do is call the ex that broke your heart. I don't know what i would do without my friends.

I hope one day, to be planning a wedding of my own... I'm not convinced that's ever going to happen at this point, but “my 3” are, so it gives me hope. I know i will have the best bridesmaids in the world, because they've all gone through the steps. And they also all know that i hate “planning”, so i'll have tons of help there! My awesome sister, who i haven't mentioned in this post because she deserves a post all to herself, will one day be my beautiful maid of honor. And even though she doesn't have the experience yet, of wedding planning, maybe by then she will have! Either way, she knows me in and out, so to have her by my side will be the biggest re-assurance i could ask for.

I consider myself an extremely lucky girl to be a part of these girls lives. And i hope they know how much i love them.

If YOU feel lucky to have great friends in your life, don't forget to tell them. Tell them right now. In person, through a phone call, an email, a text, or in a blog post! Tell them. They deserve to know how amazing they are.

LOVE YOU ALL xox
Thank you Val for always being there for me, for helping me get back on my feet, through all the drama and heartache. For the Godiva chocolates on the days i need a long-distance hug, and for inviting me to TO everytime i need to escape my life! Thank you Julie for being there to heal my broken heart, when i had hurt you more without realizing it...
Thank you Jo for being there and making me get out of bed when i didn't want to go on... Thank you Katie for taking me into your family, cooking me supper, driving me anywhere and everywhere, being there whenever i need a shoulder to cry on, or just some company. Thank you Anastasia&Kiran for being so protective and loving me so much, regardless of my craziness, and making me the Godmother of your amazing child! Thank you James for being a guy that i can trust and lean on when everything seems to go wrong in my day. And for taking care of me the next day when YOU get me plastered the night before!!! Thank you Suli for being able to understand the trials and tribulations of being single! We'll make it through this together! lol

Encouragement :: sometimes we all need some...

We all need some positive encouraging messages from time to time. I ♥ these.
Anyone who's going through a hard time :: just pick yourself up and keep moving... things will get better. I promise! xo

From ROXY

From ROXY

From ROXY

So i joined a dating site...

So, you can imagine me.. 6 months after the biggest heartbreak of my life, trying to get back into this crazy world of dating. Like millions of other people, i joined an online dating site and was totally nervous about it! I didn't even tell my closest friends for a few weeks! I had never done anything like that before — but i took a New Year's resolution and blindly threw myself info the dating scene.

From ROXY

It was different...it was fun... and, as it turns out, it was a great way to re-connect with myself. I re-evaluated what i was looking for, what i wanted out of life, and what i enjoyed doing. All because of their one-million questions that took me HOURS to answer! These questions were “supposed” to set me up with my perfect match. Strangely enough, friends who had also joined the site shortly after me, were all setup with the SAME matches. So much for personality profiling! We'd all gone on dates with the same guys!

En tous cas, as you will see by reading my posts, this online dating site wasn't a complete bust. I met some very nice, respectable guys, had some funny experiences, and most importantly re-discovered yours truly.

Take a risk girls! You never know what you'll find! more to come!