If an ex asks you to dinner, should you go?

Hmmm, good question, i would say it really depends on your situation in the present... do you still have feelings for this ex? are you with someone new? did things end badly between you guys?

Depending on the answers to those questions, i would probably still say: go and see what he/she has to say! Even if it's not to re-kindle the flame, you might get closure from that last dinner conversation together.

Just remember, if he was an ass the first time around, most likely he'll be an ass again -- regardless of all the “wining and dining” he might be prepared to do! Good luck!
Ask me anything

What is the most hurtful thing an ex has ever done to you?

Formspring Question: WHAT IS THE MOST HURTFUL OR MOST DISAPPOINTING THING AN EX HAS EVER DONE TO YOU? AND WHAT IS THE MOST SPECIAL OR MEMORABLE THING AN EX HAS EVER DONE TO YOU/FOR YOU? ask your question here

Hmm this is a hard question. Sadly because i can think of SO many things exes have done to hurt me. But i definitely know which one tops the list...

It's THE most hurtful thing anyone can do to someone they love: and that's cheat on them. My ex (not my most recent love, but the one prior) cheated on me after a year of us dating. He cheated on me with his ex. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I can't explain the devastation. Only someone who's lived through it can understand. You need to be really strong to pick up the pieces and move on...

And that's where my most recent ex pops into my mind... hopefully he's not reading this post :S I guess i won't know whether he does or not... basically, he decided after 6 months that he couldn't love me for who i am. For reasons that are hard to explain. But for me, who had finally opened my heart to be vulnerable again, it was devastating and disappointing all over again. I still love him and miss him everyday. But i've come to terms with the fact that if he can't love me back, then i'm moving on. Thankfully i have great friends who are helping me do that.

Now for special and memorable moments.... yes there are lots (thankfully!) -- i will talk about my most recent ex because he is the one on my mind... I went away for a weekend in NYC for a friend's dirty-30 bday celebration. I'd been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months at the time. Midway through the weekend there was a delivery to my hotel room: a card wishing me a great weekend with my friends, truffles and champagne... signed from him. I never expected a gesture like that — it was so thoughtful ...That was the weekend i realized that i was falling in love with him...

Sigh... ok let's focus on the future girls! and all the “firsts” to come! Let's hope at least!! lol

— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

Hanging out with your Ex lately?

Formspring Question: How do u feel about people still hanging out with their exes to the point where the current person in the relationship is bothered by it? ask your question here

Thanks for asking that question! It's a big issue that couples do encounter all the time. I have some personal history regarding this type of issue, so if i allowed myself i would have soooo much to say.
However, there is one simple answer for you: If the friendship with an ex is bothering the current relationship (aka causing conflict between you and your boyfriend), and you CARE about your boyfriend and want it to work out, just STOP seeing your ex!

Plain and simple. Your partner should be your #1 priority. Not the ex who either broke your heart or that you dumped! Let him go, and try not to accumulate ANOTHER ex in the process!! hehe

If you care about the person your with, the decision should be simple. As an “ex” myself, i would understand! Wouldn't you?

Ask me anything

FormSpring Lingerie Question

Hi! I remember you have a thing for lingerie and my friend's bday is coming up so I would like your advice on what are your favourite brands and where to get them! 

My favorite brand of lingerie is Blush Lingerie. You can view a few of my posts about that brand on my blog: http://roxysrendezvous.blogspot.com/search?q=blush&x=0&y=0 .
They offer sexy, high quality lingerie for an amazing price. My closet is full of their bras, undies and negligés!! check it out at www.blushlingerie.com

It's hard to choose something for your friend's birthday though!! Unless you know her sizes and have a good eye for her style...it might be hard to pick out something she's guaranteed to love. Maybe the corset on their homepage? It's FABULOUS, i would LOVE to get that as a gift!!! (wouldn't we all?! lol)

Good luck , and let us know what you choose!!
— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

Do you think that people tend to stay together out of insecurity?

Formspring question:

Have any of your long-term relationships resulted in a break-up then reconciliation? Do you think that people tend to stay together out of insecurity?

Yes, and yes. Almost every one of my serious relationships have had break-ups and make-ups ... I think every situation is different though. Some people need the drama and fights to resolve issues and move forward, others can call it quits immediately, with no room for reconciliation...
I think a lot of the time, people do tend to stay together out insecurity... especially if it's their first boyfriend and they started dating young.

How do you know he's the one, when you've never seen what else is out there?! 

But that's a scary thought to many, and i think that's why people tend to stay in relationships that aren't healthy or happy. The dating world can be ruthless, and you need confidence to be successful. But the thought of finding someone who can love you unconditionally is worth the risk!!
If you're scared of leaving your significant other, just remember this... I would rather be single, happy and rocking my own life, than in a relationship that's on-and-off-again and not satisfying me!

— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

FORMSPRING: Are you usually the chaser or the chasee?

Formspring Question: Are you usually the chaser or the chasee? I know sometimes people switch from back and forth to keep it balanced, but thinking back to your experiences with past potential guys, which side do you lean more towards?

I think in every relationship or dating situation, being the “chaser” and the “chasee” gets switched back and forth… it all depends on how much you like the person!! With people i feel a true connection with in the beginning, i'll definitely be more of a “chaser” to get things going between us!! hehe

Once the relationship has settled, i think that role switches back and forth. Often depending on events, situations and my moods! lol OMG i am completely ruled by my moods and emotions! It's sometimes a disaster! In my head, i feel like a raging maniac when it's that PMS-time of the month! I try to keep the madness inside so that people don't have to deal with crazy-emotional-me! During that time i become the “chaser”, but once i'm rational again i try to switch back to the “chasee”. Or at least i try… Us girls are complicated!

What about you? Do any of you choices stay one or the other?

Ask me anything

I Almost Ran Over My Ex...

So, everyone knows that you always bump into your exes when ur having a bad hair day, and looking like shit. Unfortunately, in my case, when you've dated about half the city, this coincidence seems to happen more often than not!

I've Answered ur Questions (even the weird ones)!

So , i've been a busy bee this morning, including answering some of your most interesting questions on Formspring. lol I didn't want the questions to show up as tons of blog posts, so if ur interested, you can see the answers to your questions here.

Some of the questions I have answered to date are:
• What is the riskiest (or kinkiest!) place I've ever had sex?
• If you could change one thing about myself physically, what would it be?
• Am i ticklish?
• What do I find most attractive in a man emotionally? mentally?physically?
• How important is it for me to have my friends like my boyfriend and vice versa?
...AND MORE!

CHECK OUT all my answers and ask me anything you like anonymously!! Have a great weekend chicas! I'm having a weekend of partying and pampering for my friends wedding. xo

What do you find most attractive in a man emotionally? physically?

ooo i like this question. hehe let's talk MEN girls!!! ;)

Ok let's start with the physical...

Men with ARMS kill me! Those strong arm muscles that can hold you just melt my heart. Especially when there are tattoos involved! But i think that goes without saying!! hhehe

The second physical trait on my list is EYES. I love when you can look into a guy's eyes and see his sensitivity, even though he may look tough and unphased on the outside. Love love love that! Feels like you can see his secret...

Ok, so emotional “hotness” — i find that's when a guy can talk about his feelings. When he can be honest. When he can entice ME to talk about MY emotions (which we all know is tough for me). When he can help ME deal with emotions by talking it out instead of shutting down and/or walking away.
I'm trying my best to be a good communicator in all my current relationships (with my guy, my girls & my work) because it's the key to ANY successful relationship. But it's hard. And for me, if i'm around people who ask questions and invite me to talk, i will be a better person.

What do you guys find physically and emotionally attractive? In men or women! I'd like to know! I'll be reading your comments below!

— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

How important is it for you to have your friends like your boyfriend and vice versa?

Good question!
I find this is kind of an important question at the moment because it IS important that my friends like my significant other. Even MORE important that my sister likes him!lol But that's a whole other story!! hehe

Friends are the people who are of most importance in my life and will be around BOTH of us if things start to progress into a serious relationship. I find it interesting to know what kind of vibes people get from the guy your seeing. Things that maybe you don't notice or even think of.

Actually, this past weekend, the guy i'm seeing met one of my best friends, AND my best GUY friends—JB and K. I didn't put any extra pressure before “the meet”, but it was imperative that these friends in my life (who are very protective of me) like the “new guy”!

And thank god that they did! What i found interesting, is that THEY noticed things that i didn't. Example: apparently i was sitting on the couch, balancing a baby and a glass of wine (sounds right up my alley right?! lol) and my guy walked in the room and immediately took the glass away and put it somewhere safe. I didn't even notice this. But, this is how my guy friend KNEW that this guy is a good guy! Funny huh? But it's true, my guy (who we TOTALLY need to find a name for now -- what could it be?) he's totally attentive and always pays attention to if i'm comfortable/uncomfortable, and without saying anything he fixes the situation. It's pretty damn nice to have someone thinking of you like that!

Anyway, all to say friends opinions are of utmost importance, as I'm sure HIS are to him! Luckily i already know his best friend, but i'm sure there are a bunch more to meet!

Thanks for the questions! Keep them coming!
—Roxy xo

Ask me anything

If your significant other cheated on you, is it a dealbreaker or a second chance is a possibility?

Great question. My answer = Dealbreaker.
My ex cheated. Not that he would admit it. But there was enough evidence to make it clear to me that i didn't deserve to be with someone who would go behind my back and lie to me. Especially with his ex! If someone can do that once, he could easily do it again. I can't judge all relationships, but in my opinion, if a guy's a jerk, he's always a jerk!
— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

After numerous attempts to find Mr. Right, only to end up with so many Mr. Wrongs, your good friend tells you that she no longer believes in love, how do you react to this?

hmmm are you sure you're not talking about me? lol I have to admit, it's hard to believe in love when things KEEP going wrong with men... it's hard on your ego, your emotions, and on your faith... and sometimes it seems like “giving up on love” is easier. I have to say though, when dates DO go well, your hope and belief in love re-ignite immediately. Your friend just needs to go on some GOOD dates where she feels pampered and cared for ;)

Ask me anything

self-reflection

What's was your dream for 2010?
Are you living up to your expectations of yourself?
Are you being the best you can be?
Or are you letting yourself down...
Self-reflection is a constant need for us to feel happy and satisfied with the life we're living.

I am faced with these questions, and this reality, due to supporting my friends who are suffering or have experienced realities that are tougher than most. Death, loss, tragedy, love, friendship, family, depression, grief, miracles and uncertainty... It makes me question life, how i live, who i choose to love, and what i want at the end of it all. It's rather intense and humbling all at once.

This is me, the real me, raw and honest.
Love yourself.
Free yourself. xo kisses.

Thinking back to your most serious relationship, what would u say was your biggest sacrifice and was it worth it? What would u do different with the next serious prospect in your life?

OMG this is a good, but hard question...
i think the biggest SACRIFICE i made in my past relationships has been my independence. It's NOW something that i cherish closely and feel very comfortable with, so in future relationships i think will always try to keep that aspect of myself alive and well. It's not just because you have a guy that the rest of your life stops! There are so many wonderful things to do ! Friends, family, traveling, work, sports, etc.
Obviously having a supportive, caring man is of HUGE importance, but just don't lose yourself in it ladies! That would be my advice for now!

— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

If you could go back in time 10 years and tell your younger self something, what would it be?

Be yourself and don't be shy! People will love you for YOU, no matter what! And for the love of God, STOP planning your LIFE! Let everyday happen as it should; you can never predict what the future will hold!! (i remind myself of that everyday right now)
— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

Would you rather date a lot of different people, or be in a committed relationship?

Good question, and 100% i would rather be in a committed relationship. I know it's not as fun for my blog, but i have tons of stories still that i haven't shared to keep the fun going!
— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

do u believe that exes can be friends? especially if there's a new girlfriend in the picture?

hmmm it depends how friendly u want to stay w the ex. I think in some ways, it's difficult for everyone involved. I'm friends w one of my exes and he has a gf, and i'm totally happy for him. BUT we don't hang out outside seeing each other at work. I guess everyone's just got to be on the same page.
And i think if you're in an important relationship, NEW gf outranks OLD gf, so if she's not ok with the friendship, then something's gotta change!
tough question, i like it ;)
— Roxy xo

Ask me anything

My sexy lingerie designer

Ok, so i'll let Roxy fans on on a little secret. Roxy loves lingerie. LOVE LOVE LOVES it. It makes me feel sexy everyday. And a little secret: I usually color co-ordinate my undies with my top that i'm wearing. Every day. That's how many undies i have!!! ;) lol.
And, it just so HAPPENS, that one of my great friends is an amazing lingerie designer. She works for Blush Lingerie. An up and coming lingerie brand that sells amazing quality lingerie for the price. I have soooo many bras, undies, corsets from her. Too many to wear actually. But i always find room in my underwear armoir (yes. armoir.) when a new season begins.
Spring 2010 is in full bloom. Check out their website www.blushlingerie.com It's HOT!



So, I sat down with my talented friend to ask her a few questions about being a lingerie designer:

[ROXY] What first drew you to fashion design? specifically to lingerie?
[BLUSH DESIGNER] I’ve always been into fashion: the clothes, shopping, dressing people up… but I always thought becoming a fashion designer was a pipe dream. Only after university (graduated in a different field) did I really start to evaluate what I wanted to do in life. I decided that fashion was really something that would make me happy and I was the only one who can make it happen. I didn’t want to invest more years in school, but then I quickly realized what’s 3 years compared to the rest of my life? It was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Same as clothes, lingerie was always something that I loved. I always found that pretty lingerie can just brighten up your day and make you feel sexy! It starts from the “inside”! I have always loved matching bra/panties sets, and I love matching them to what I’m wearing on the outside. During fashion school, we had a few opportunities to work on projects outside of women’s daywear. I always chose lingerie. I knew that it was something I wanted to go into, I just didn’t think I was going to straight out of school!

[ROXY] How do u inspire yourself? Victoria's Secret catalogs? ;)
[BD] I love flipping through magazines, watching runway shows, going shopping. I find inspiration in art and clothing. I love to travel, see what’s out there and what’s different.

[ROXY] Do you have any special collections? If so, how do u name them?
[BD] All my collections are special, lol! There are always a few groups in the collection that I’m in love with and hope everyone would love just as much. We have many groups within a collection and they all have sexy flirty names. For Spring/Summer 2010, we have names like: Swept Away, Kiss & Tell, My Little Secret, Guilty Pleasures…

[ROXY] Ooo..sexy! Speaking of, Valentine's day is next week! What do u suggest us single girls buy for our sexy dates? Oh. And let's not forget the wifies, what would you suggest they buy to impress their hubbies? To rekindle those fires!! One corset at a time!
[BD] I would tell the single girls to buy a cute/sexy set, whatever makes them feel more feminine, flirty and bold. Have fun with it! I would also suggest wearing a garter belt under with your sheer stockings. A hint of the garter will drive the guy mad!!
For the wives and girlfriends, buy something that you normally wouldn’t wear…babydolls, corsets, teddys… or even a bra/panty set in lace if you’re usually a cotton kinda gal. Pick a fun color (one that flatters you or that he likes you in), accentuate your best features (be it top or bottom, or both)! Most importantly, be confident in showing your sexy self!

[ROXY] I'm sold! So, where can we buy ur fabulous designs? and how much do they go for?
[BD] Our bras are generally $34-36, panties $18-24, babydolls/chemises/corsets $56-68. You can find Blush at lingerie boutiques, Simons, The Bay and online stores. All the info’s on our website: blushlingerie.com

[ROXY] wow that's amazing pricing! I've gotta to get to the stores! Nothing better than walking around knowing how sexy you look under your clothes! Makes a girl feel GREAT! One question I have to ask; do guys act differently on dates when they find out your occupation? Do you strategically place it in conversation?
[BD] LOL, I think guys like hearing it. They love the idea that I play with panties all day! It’s definitely one of those occupations you don’t mind telling people :) I don’t really brag about it or bring it up in conversation unless someone asks me. Maybe it’s because I’m still a little shocked that I am a lingerie designer!

[ROXY] Have you ever dated a guy who WASN'T into lingerie? that would be such a waste!
[BD] Yes I did. Let’s just say he was being quite disrespectful about it. It lasted one date.

[ROXY] Speaking of dating, have u got any crazy dating stories to share with our readers?!
[BD] I met this guy online, we had great conversations about our jobs, common interests, hockey…He had a great sense of humor, didn’t mind making fun of himself. He asked me out for drinks on a Friday night. We decide to go separately and meet at the bar. First drink in, I can already tell he wanted out of there. He kept looking at his phone, hoping that his friend would bail him out. I decided it was Friday and I deserved a least a second martini! As the waitress came with my second, he conveniently got up to go to the bathroom so I would have to pay for it. He came back, I quickly finished my drink and left.

Have you got any questions of your own for the sexy designer? Email me at hello@roxysrendezvous.com !
Here are a few magazines she's been featured in! WOW i'm jealous xo

NO LONGER Friends With an Ex...

So, i'm officially taking back my previous Blog Post statement about Being Friends With An Ex.

Shit went down today, and my revelation is that i think some people are just not made to see eye-to-eye. I can't take it anymore. So much BS and it's over 5 years later!! Cmon!! It's ridiculous!

I won't go into details and throw fuel in the fire, but i can honestly say that i'm done trying to be friendly. I just wish i didn't work with him everyday... :(

What about you guys... Are you friends with your ex? are you making it work?