10 REASONS I'm not married (?!)

So recently i was reading an interesting article called: 10 REASONS YOU'RE NOT MARRIED by Jenna Stone. I first clicked on it as a joke and then i started really analyzing her points.  LOL C'mon, i'm not married... it wouldn't hurt to know WHY!! ;)

Jenna Stone, did her homework and consulted the experts: Dr. Amir Levine, co-author, with Rachel Heller, of the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find -- And Keep --Love. A book, which after reading the article, i'd be pretty interested in reading.

“There is a science of how people behave in romantic situation, it's called adult attachment, only the studies have never been translated to everyday life use up until now.” —Levine

This book talks to three main attachment styles:

1. Anxious - people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back. 
2. Avoidant - people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
3. Secure - people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Find out which style you and/or your partner have: click here to take the author's quiz.
Trust me! It might open your eyes about how you treat your relationships. I know it did for me.
So, back to the summary of Jenna Stone's 10 points about possibly why I'm not married :

1. Believing that playing hard to get will get them interested 
2. You're trying too hard. 
3. Thinking neediness is bad. 
4. You're stuck in a situationship. 
5. You're stuck on ''the one'' -- You have an ideal relationship in mind and won't let it go. 
6. You get addicted to highs and lows. You equate anxiety with passion and love. 
7. You're fixated on your mythological ex. 
8. You get stuck in a relationship with an impossible future. Long-distance, married, ''it's complicated.” 
9. You stay home, hoping they'll drop from the sky. 
10. You decide there has to be instant animal attraction, otherwise you're wasting your time.

Do any of these sound like you? I have to say quite a few resonated with me... i guess there's actually an explanation to why i'm not married, and these experts seem to have a few reasons why! All i can say, is that no one's perfect and i'm doing my best along the way! And... i'll buy this book and see what the hell i can do to avoid failure in the future!! hehehe

Ms Independent

I was trying to think how to write a blog post that would interest my readers. You all know that i don't go on dates anymore. Well, i do, but they are always with the same guy :) Which is awesome: as per my last blog post. No more random date with internet weirdos, no more meeting men in the most random spots! I'm not “riding solo” anymore.

At the beginning of Roxy's era, a year ago, i promised that i wouldn't discuss relationships. Not past ones, and not current ones. Relationships are hard enough to keep balanced without having someone blogging about how the other one pissed them off! LOL BUT… it seems i'm in a predicament because i want to keep writing and people want to keep reading… so… no worries, i will figure this out ;)

So, with no further ado, let's review the first topic of the week, something that's on my mind….

How do you go from being that awesome self-reliant-independent-chic that your friends love, to a heart-throb cool-as-fuck-girlfriend that he can fall in love with?

Bridesmaid... Never a Bride...

So next weekend it's one of my BFF's weddings, and it's a full fun-packed weekend, and once again i'll be the hottest bridesmaid in town ;) hehe just kidding! There will be 3 other HOT bridesmaids at this wedding, trust me!
I kind of feel like the girl in 27 Dresses, ever seen that movie? It kind of plays on the theory of “always a bridesmaid, never a bride”. But u know what, i'm ok with that (for a while! lol). There's no rush in my life to be the next one planning a wedding. Far from it. Planning is NOT one of my strong points and i do NOT look forward to that stuff.

...the perfect ring on my finger... and the pretty dress... and a guy telling me he'll love me forever.... well... THOSE are the things that i dream about! But i guess one day, my time will come...

Maybe AFTER all these big BFF-weddings (this is the 3rd that i'm a bridesmaid in, and counting...) if i'm a lucky girl, i might just go down south one day to escape the drama of planning! Who knows what i'll do.. i'll be 50 anyways right? ;) HAHA ok enough pity-party!! My friends don't appreciate that attitude!
So... next weekend, the bachelorette is planned, the pre-wedding mani-pedis and supper is booked, the wedding-day has some last minute scheduling to be arranged, and the morning-after brunch is scheduled. What else is there to do but save up my pennies, and ENJOY!! (right KK? Enjoy! It'll be over in a flash!)

So... fellow readers, stay tuned for fun party moments!
And I know i've (kinda) given up drinking and all... but i think i'll allow myself a few drinks on this special occasion. ESPECIALLY, since it's the FIRST time that i have a DATE who will be with me at the wedding AND coming home with me AFTER the wedding!! ;) Yes yes, don't worry, i am talking about Mr.Energizer!!! You will be right J?! hahaha kisses xo

Roxy's Ramblings

I saw this on Polyvore (a totally fun site if you're artistic and have time to kill) and loved it instantly.
I think all girls, single or in relationships, can appreciate xo And to all men out there, this is our checklist!! So, take notes!  hahaha

The Guy Who Was Married....

So... rewind back to January earlier this year....
I was getting into the swing of this dating site... I was enjoying chatting to numerous guys, all who seemed super interested in meeting the “new” me. I was excited.

So, when my online crush asked me to meet, i could hardly wait! First date butterflies are the best! And this was my first “online” blind date -- a whole different ballgame!

He asked me for brunch, which was totally cute. For safety (yes even at brunch), my (amazing, but protective) sister was determined to have breakfast at the same resto as me. Just to make sure my online date wasn't an online wack-job. lol

He wasn't. I signaled my sister mid-way through the date so that she could leave whenever she felt like it, he was kinda cute. I thought i was lucky, because he seemed nice and sincere and normal...

...then the facebook research started...

And let me just say, that i didn't go out of my way to find out this info! It just fell into my lap with surprising ease. A best bud (no names, no worries chicas) figured out that she knew him from high school, casually mentioned his name to a few of her friends and BAM! Phone call back to me telling me to check my sources and facebook because this guy's MARRIED!

UH, WHAT?!

So, low and behold i nit-picked through his photos and there it was, plain as day, albums and albums that his friends still had posted of HIS wedding day!! He was still tagged in them, and it turned out that the wedding was merely 18months ago! ...strange... there had been no “ex” talk between us, and definitely no “wife”talk.

From ROXY

But, i tried to stay positive, as much as this new found info was surprising, i didn't let it take over our new found connection. I began to ask questions, to hint at things, so that he could open up at his own pace, but nada.

I even checked for tanlines, but there were none!! lol

So, i gathered that either he was in denial about the fact that he was most likely still married or separated and the ring was in a drawer somewhere; OR he just really didn't think it was relevant. Either way, i was beginning to think that he was irrelevant!

3rd date in, weeks later, and this just wasn't going anywhere anyway, so why trudge out this past? We parted ways and i never did ask him directly about his marriage.
Either way, i was now skeptical about how this “in depth” dating site had neglected to get me such vital info !

But i had bought a 3 month membership to the online site, and as my roomates put it — i'd better get my money's worth!!